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I was not fired today. I should be ecstatic, joyful, jubilant, bounding with energy. But I’m not. I feel like throwing up. I really screwed up at a job that I love. I feel horrible, lifeless, and depressed. Dead. Should I commit suicide? No. But the thoughts are there. Can anything good come from my depression, [...] Well, I meant to write this yesterday but here goes: My boss is flying up from California. I am probably going to lose my job on Monday. I won’t be able to pay my child support. I have some money saved up so I will be able to pay child support for a little while [...] I hate to be showing my best stuff all at once instead of spreading it out a bit. But this image describes my day. I have been on Short Term Disability since December 10th, 2011 because of my manic-depression. Today I went back to work. I can’t remember the work that I have completed and [...] Well, I was going to go over the technical aspects of Self-Portrait: Resilient today but instead I want to start talking about the series Hidden Lake Retreat, which is where the Sacred Landscape Photographic Workshop took place. If you want to see a preview of the images in either Hidden Lake Retreat or Sacred Landscape, [...] Well, it has been a very rough year and a half since I last wrote a blog entry here. My manic-depression (bipolar II disorder), my ADD, and now my recently diagnosed Asperger’s Syndrome have been kicking my butt. My life, of course, is still infinitely easier than one of the artists that inspire me – [...] I am trying to keep a blog to improve my writing. But that doesn’t work if all I do is stream of consciousness writing. I believe in God. I believe in a lot of things. But I don’t act on them. I don’t trust God, which contradicts what I want to believe. My ex-wife and I met [...] Here are my two favorite paintings, both by Vincent van Gogh – “Starry Night” and “Wheatfield with Crows.” Starry Night
This is Vincent van Gogh’s first painting after he voluntarily admitted himself to the insane asylum. The mountains that surrounded the monastery are exaggerated in this painting to a menacing stance. The church steeple is [...] Well, I am all set to start my career as a photographer. I have ordered all the equipment. The last of it arrived today. All the equipment is sitting in boxes in my room. Should I open it and take the plunge or should I send it all back? It is worth [...] |
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